Should I be friends with you again? (BACKSTABBER)

Hi Mikaluvs <3 and MFFT Fans,

I posed this question on my personal page...

Question?

Should you try to reach out to someone or accept friendship from someone who you considered a very close friend but they did you dirty? (hence why you two are no longer friends). So I went to Facebook and  asked my peeps and fans for some answers....

After you read them let me know what you think...

SMOOCHIES!!!

<3 Mika
 
Here are the answers:

Sugar n Salt look the same. If you do just be careful because it's hard to earn that trust. I can forgive but can't forget. I forgive because I don't want to block my blessings.

Yes.I had a similar situation. I forgave and we speak but no buddy buddy type thing. I'm just careful because I do like you said remember the BS

Only you can truly answer that. My opinion doesn't include the hurt your endured or know the depth of that friendship. 
You can forgive but one never forgets. If you feel lead to give that person another chance be careful

That something you will have to figure out for yourself... People who do you dirty never really change, just change their tactics. I would just say stay aware.

How necessary is it to be friends with them? I've always believed when people show you who they really are, believe them. You can be cordial without being "friends". I don't take the word 'friend' lightly. I would say handle with a long handled spoon. I would not allow them freely back in my circle. We can forgive and forget but sometimes people dig their own graves. I would say 'proceed with caution'.

Well said! I was going to say this myself until I seen your post...accept I do not forget. LOL! I'm with you on that friend thing....it takes a lot for me to call one a friend and some need to learn the difference between associates and friends.

Hell no

Yes if God is tugging at your heart. Lots of factors to consider though: how long has it been, how bad the offense, is the other party remorseful, do u value their friendship? It is natural to be more careful/cautious this time around if u do decide to let said person in. People can and do change...but not ALL of them

Some people are not worth coming back into your circle no matter how long you knew each other 

I can agree, but I also agree that people have different ideas of what they would cut somebody off for. Some people deserve a second chance. Others, not so much

You could try to work through it, but it will be awkward more than normal and I would be very careful. You can be friends but be aware that vulnerability in a friendship means you will--at some point--get hurt. How much you are willing to be hurt determines your level of friendship. God provides discernment through the Spirit on the depth you should explore. (Romans 12:18; Hebrews 12:14)

That's a call only you can make, love. But I will say that in my opinion, it depends on the circumstances. If the other person is genuinely sorry for what happened and is trying to make amends, then yes, I would accept their friendship, but I would make it clear that things will not be the same as they were before they did you wrong, and that it might never be. Accepting someone back into your circle doesn't mean nothing ever happened.

Forgive from your heart and then keeping it moving.....

Forgive and keep it moving..you dont get a chance to burn me twice

Forgiven and keep it moving... Do it for your soul and to keep your mind at peace.

Good question Mika! Definitely one that a person has to fig out on their own. Been praying on a similar situation myself. Folks hurt you knowing full well that they have/are hurting you. If you forgive, you will never forget and things will prob never be the same.

I wouldn't. You parted ways for a reason.

Happy Holidays!!!

Hi Mikaluvs <3 & MFFT Fans,

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

I definitely have to catch up on my blog and post as much as I post on my FB LIKE page...

I hope you all have a blessed holiday season and Happy New Year 2016!!!

SMOOCHIES!!!

<3 Mika

PS Check out my FB LIKE page for this blog at https://www.facebook.com/mikasfoodforthought

When Did You Stop Loving Me?

Photo Credit Bossip.com


Hi Mikaluvs <3 and MFFT Fans!!!

Whew!!! Wow!!! I was in awe when I watched last night's episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" and Peter Thomas asked his wife Cynthia Bailey when did she fall out of love with him and she said she didn't know... DAMN!!!

Being married or in a relationship is already hard but actually dealing with it on national television has to be real crazy. 

Lately I have had that lingering question in my mind recently as I have talked to friends who have either gone through what Peter & Cynthia are going through or have been thinking it themselves. 

When Did You Stop Loving Me? Why Are We Staying In Something That Is Not Fixable? 

When you are with someone for so long, you want to try to make it work but then you realize that you two are drifting and going on different paths in life. 

From my own experiences I have stayed too long in relationships only to see that me and the person could've been better off being apart than together. We were trying to make it work and unfortunately the time has  had expired...

It's crazy when you see your life being played out on TV and not realize it...

Well Mikaluvs & MFFT Fans I want your opinions on this subject....


Until next time...

SMOOCHIES!!!

CONCERT REVIEW: Sam Smith "In The Lonely Hour Tour"

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo late on this post!!!

Sam Smith concert was on July 27th at the Wolstein Center in Cleveland, Ohio.

(Photo Credit:Tamika Shanea')

Hi Mikaluvs <3 and MFFT Fans,

This concert review is sooooooo late but I still remember it like yesterday :).

Ariane Marie and I have been going to concerts together since she was little and in love with the Jonas Bros. Since she is older she appreciates and understands more what is going on. Unfortunately I was not feeling my best this day but no matter what I was going to see Sam Smith. My mom was recovering from her knee replacement surgery in the hospital and I was diagnosed with Vertigo with Migraines (definitely going to be a post). 

We got to the Wolstein Center and was in awe how many Sam Smith fans that were there. People traveled from other cities to come see him. I already knew he was going to give us a good ass show!!!

Now you can't go to a concert and not get souvenirs. 

To be honest he had an opening act which I forget his name (sorry) :( but he was good. The devil tried it by having this young dude sitting in our seats when we came back to them and then the lil punk shoveled me. The old me would've grabbed his ass and gave him a beatdown but the God in me let it slide but I let his lil friend who was sitting next to us know her friend was real lucky he's gonna make it to his next birthday!!

When Sam came on behind his silhouette I was screaming (YES ME) like a schoolgirl. He sang every single song from "In The Lonely Hour" and my new obsession "Nirvana". His backup singers were da bomb!!! Excellent choice Sam!!!

To make my review short...The concert was everything and I commend Sam after having surgery still coming out and entertaining us. I truly hope he sees how much Cleveland loved him and come back!!!

Sam Smith "In The Lonely Hour" Tour 5 stars *****

What would you do?

Hi Mikaluvs <3 and MFFT Fans,

First of all Happy Labor Day!!!

I decided to do this quick post after doing some research for the blog.

Everyone that truly knows me know I am a HUGE Ne-Yo fan...that is my man/baby daddy/hubby in my head LOL.

Recently he announced that he was engaged to his current girlfriend "model" Crystal Renay and the two were having a baby. Now remember Ne-Yo has two kids (a boy and girl) with his ex Monyetta Shaw. Monyetta was just recently featured on the VH1 reality show "Atlanta Exes" where she stated that her and Ne-Yo made a decision for her to get her tubes burned because he didn't want to have anymore children.

Now Ne-Yo clapped back that she can have the procedure reversed and can have future children. He has definitely gotten major backlash for this situation.

I have a question to all my Mikaluvs <3 and MFFT fans that are females?

If you and your ex made a decision to get your tubes tied/burned because he didn't want any more kids...you two break up...he gets involved with a thot  another girl...decides to marry her (something he was supposed to do with you)...and get her pregnant...then announce it in grand fashion...What would YOU do???

Personally I wouldn't hate ol dude. I might be hurt for a second because of our previous situation but  I would keep it moving, find me someone who will love me and my babies and when the subject of other kids come about, make a decision together to do what is best (either untie my tubes, adopt, or get a surrogate). As long as my kids and the future kid gets along I'm not going to worry about it.

I have my tubes tied and that's because I don't want anymore kids. I have four (3 boys 19, 15, 11 and 1 girl 12). If me and my hubby break up and I get with someone else who wants kids we will have to talk. I'm just saying...

What are your thoughts????

SMOOCHIES!!!

:( Sorry for the month long vacay...

Hi Mikaluvs <3 and MFFT Fans,

I got uber busy going to concerts and working LOL in the month end of July and all of August.
I have been sharing my adventures on my FB like page for "Mika's Food for Thought". But I promise from this day forward I will be able to be more engaged in my blog since some things have changed for the good in my life.

So stay tuned to more adventures and blog posts coming from you all!!!

Stay Blessed and SMOOCHIES!!!

MUSIC REVIEW: "WOMAN" Jill Scott

YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS My Jilly from Philly IS BACK!!!

This album has been on repeat!!! These songs give me life LOL!!!

Just think 15 years ago Jill Scott came into our lives with Who Is Jill Scott? Words and Sounds Vol. 1 and the hits "Getting In The Way" and " A Long Walk". Since then this beautiful spirit and poet has blessed us with four prior albums before her new one "Woman".

You can definitely feel the vibe that Jill is bringing with this album: freedom, happiness, soul-searching, and being yourself.

With the first single "Fool's Gold", you can tell by the lyrics, Jill knows she's been duped by her love in trusting and believing in him. "Cruising" is so mellow makes you want to get into your car and go with the evening breeze flow. "Prepared" I kept hearing Elton John's "Benny and The Jets" melody in my head. But the lyrics are on point. You gotta be prepared for that next level of life.

I absolutely love "Closure" when she is telling her former love don't expect any breakfast after their last romp in the bed together and get out! The beginning when the riffs change makes me start dancing and saying 'HEY!"."Say Thank You" makes you think you are at the cafe listening to spoken word and Jimi Hendrix is being channeled on the guitar from beyond. "Can't Wait" is an awesome song. Makes me think of the 70s. Go head "Boss Lady".

"Wild Cookie", I love when Jilly starts her albums with poetry. But this song- OMG ladies our wild cookies be doing some cray cray stuff LOL. Your wild cookie may get pregnant after listening to that (hence lonely pregnancy)... "Back Together" is definitely channeling Aretha and that soulful experience that you feel when you hear it. "You Don't Know", which I believe will be the second single has a Memphis sound feel to it like STAX.

"Coming To You" has that 60s Motown feel to it where you want to start doing The Temptations dance. Plus it has a James Brown horn bridge breakdown :). With "Jahraymecofasla" I hear a little Minnie Riperton with the melody. I don't know what that word means but I want to have that feeling.
"Run, Run, Run" definitely will make you dance with it's 60s and 70s sounding groove and sing a long of "Nah,Nah,Nah,Nah,Nah".

On "Lighthouse" she is letting her boo know that she is his shelter so "lay those burdens down" and let it go and have inner peace."Willing-Interlude" yaaaaaaaaaasssssss speak on it Jilly. Men wants us to be loyal, faithful, flawless and they are not those things... "Pause-Interlude" we have all been there where we want to schedule a "necessary breakdown" and need to make that call to the heavens above. Plus we don't want to be bother with "the nosy people". Last but not least "Beautiful Love" feat BJ The Chicago Kid is so mellow and make you just wanna grab that special someone and make "beautiful love".

This album is great. Jilly from Philly has made me happy again like "Light of the Sun". Still got "Until Then (I Imagine)" on repeat.

****/5

SMOOCHIES

MIKA MAIL: Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Hi Mikaluvs <3,

Twice a month I will post Mika Mail...so send me some thoughts!!!!

This week I had a Mikaluv reach out to me about their life and a certain decision that they want to make.

I will help you boo the best way I can..

Hi Mika,

I'm a 100% Mikaluv fan...Girl your posts hits home a lot. I have a big dilemma. I have been in a on and off relationship for several years now. I really am tired of this man and his antics. He has done everything in his power to make me feel guilty about wanting a better life. I feel he has mentally abuse me and made me feel bad. He lost his job six months ago and have not been able to find a new one. I currently work 40+ hours at work because I want to move in a better neighborhood for my child.

We have a daughter together who is 10. I don't want my daughter going up thinking that this type of relationship is ok. He has made my life a living hell. I can't deal with it anymore.

I've made a decision that I want to leave him and be by myself. I feel that my life will be so much better without him. Of course he is a good dad but a bad boyfriend. I know it will hurt at first but I have to eliminate the stress out of my life. I am a good woman. I go to work, currently in college, take care of my baby girl, pay all my bills on time, etc. I know I can be with someone who will be by my side and work with me to achieve a better life.

I recently had a suitor who is very well off and wants to do anything and everything for me and my daughter including helping me buy a house in the neighborhood that I want to live in.

I really don't know what to do but I gave myself a deadline of August 30th to make this major decision.

Any advice?

Miss Sick and Tired

Dear Miss Sick and Tired,

I'm truly sorry that you're dealing with this. You sound like a young woman with a good head on your shoulders and major goals. I am very proud that you have set a deadline. In my opinion it might be best to get rid of the toxic relationship that you are in but please don't jump into a brand new relationship because a suitor has made himself known. Give yourself "me time" please. You just want to be happened loved but it's best to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. 

Keep doing you and trust me homeboy will realize what he had if you make that decision to leave. As for your daughter (I have a daughter myself) please don't ruin their relationship because you two did not work out. you say he is a good dad. Let him continue to do that. I'm sure your daughter see that her mom is a warrior and a conqueror. 

Stay Blessed and SMOOCHIES!!!



Ok Mikaluvs if you want to send me some Mika Mail send it to:

dadivamika@gmail.com

I do ask permission before I post ;)

Temptation

                                                         Destiny's Child "Temptation"

                                               (Video Credit By Destiny's Child VEVO)

Hi Mikaluvs <3 and MFFT Fans,

A while back in a previous post I said I will do one on Temptation. I went on FB and asked the question:

WHAT IS TEMPTATION?

I got a lot of in boxes about what you all thought...Thank u <3

Some of y'all said it was about the desire to hook up with the wrong person when you know you are with the right person, peer pressure, sex, lust, stepping out to try something new that you know is not good for you, etc...

According to Webster's dictionary Temptation is "a strong urge or desire to have or do something or

something that causes a strong urge or desire to have or do something and especially something that is bad, wrong, or unwise" 

The thirst and desire is real y'all.

I chose Destiny's Child song "Temptation" because that is the biggest temptation a lot of people face.
Temptation to cheat on their mate.

There is that certain someone that makes you say "Damn, I gotta have that or be with him/her" but one problem...you're in a relationship. So do you make the mistake of letting the temptation get the best of you and pursue this person or just keep dreaming and keep it moving and not ruin the good thing you have?

Some people have to get to that one thing that they are desiring...no matter what the cost is.

Unfortunately there is so many temptations out there: lust, money, advertising, food, etc.
We do fall for the okie doke once in a while.

I can tell you from experience that on a daily basis I get "suitors" in boxing me about having a side or secret relationship with them...and I must admit I am a big flirt and I <3 the attention...but I refuse to fall for that infatuation...

I have too much at stake to ruin my life or relationship for a quick f**k or a romp with someone I think is hot.

Life is so funny...sometimes it works for the best or the worse...

Being tempted by something or someone normally works for the worse and there is dire consequences...

What DO YOU all think about TEMPTATION???

SMOOCHIES!!!

MIKA MAIL: Missing Your Company

Hi Mikaluvs <3,

Twice a week I will post Mika Mail...send me some thoughts!!!!

Here is an email that I got from a Mikaluv. Funny... It is from a guy :)

Dear Mika,

I love your posts and pics on Facebook. It makes me smile. I wanted to ask for a female perspective on this situation that I am currently in.

A couple of months ago I started talking to this girl. She is mad cool and the times we have been together have been magical. We always flirt on our texts and I get so happy if I just get a "Hi", "I really need to see you", etc from her. We both have busy lives so I didn't expect to speak to her daily but the last time we were together, we just hung out at my house and watched tv and talked into the wee hours until she left. To me that was more important that sex. I started digging homegirl real hard after that. I wanted to see her more than ever. I really like this girl but for some reason we stopped talking all of a sudden. She is not returning my calls, texts, or Facebook messsages. I know she has seen all of them but nothing/nada. I have no idea what happened? We were vibing so well. It hurts because I don't know what to do. I want to ignore her and see if she will finally respond, but I'm missing this girl like hell and I'm so tempted to go see her. I listen to sad love songs and then I reread our old texts almost daily.

WTF do I do? This girl has got me having feelings that I never had before with anyone else. I really miss her company.
:(

Signed,
Missing My Boo and her company

Dear Missing My Boo and her company,

OMG!!!! I have been in this situation before.

Yes it definitely hurts if you're developing feelings for this person that you didn't expect to. Plus NO SEX WAS INVOLVED... That is real interesting why she just all of a sudden stop talking to you after months of talking. She either lost interest, found someone new, got extremely busy in her life, or developed feelings herself for you and got scared. The least that she could've did was be woman enough to tell you that you two were not going to be together anymore. Quit playing BS games. I sooooooooooooo hate that. But think maybe she was not the girl that was supposed to be in your life...keep it moving...the ONE is still out there for you and you will vibe and enjoy her company just as you did with homegirl.

Stay Blessed and SMOOCHIES!!!

Ok Mikaluvs if you want to send me some Mika Mail send it to:

dadivamika@gmail.com

I do ask permission before I post ;)

What Doesn't Kill You...Makes You Stronger...

Hi Mikaluvs <3 and MFFT Fans,

These past couple of weeks have been real hard on me...
I'm dealing with sickness...but that is not going to stop me from achieving my goals regarding this blog and my vlog on YouTube.
I have truly been in a deep funk...
I was just told today some bad news regarding a career move that I was trying to make.
Yeah it really hurt at first but it makes me more determine to go after this position again when it's available and ACE IT!!!
I am a fighter...  Life goes on and I am going to get out of this funk and make sure that I am being a blessing to others...
I refuse to let this sickness keep me down but me me strive to get better so I can be the best Tamika that I can be.

Like the picture says..."Motivation GETS you moving and determination KEEPS you going."
DON'T GIVE UP!!!

Words I live by and hope you do too!!!

Tell me your thoughts...leave comments :)

Stay Blessed and SMOOCHIES,

Da Diva Mika aka Tamika Shanea'

The "Catching Feelings" Post

Hi Mikaluvs <3

A Mikaluv fan just asked me to do a post on "Catching Feelings"...
The struggle is real fam...

(Video Credit: Justin BieberVEVO)

Have you ever crushed on someone and then finally your crush noticed you and starts wanting to talk to you? Ya'll send each other cute little texts, sometimes sexting messages, and y'all are really starting to vibe. You realize wow this person is into me, I'm beyond excited. You both have so much in common it's ridiculous.  Movies, music, etc. You then start meeting up going on dates and making movie dates for the house. No sex (yet) just chilling and getting to know each other. Even though you were crushing on this person you start to realize that you are catching feelings for this person that you might or might've not wanted to do.

But then BOOM!!! Reality hits you!!! After spending time with your crush, the texts become few and far or might not come at all. You notice you say little cute things to them that they used to respond to and now silence.
WTF??? Now you thinking "Am I a damn fool?" "Have I really wasted my time with this person?" 

Unfortunately when you start to catch feelings for someone and they don't respond back, feelings get hurt. You want to be loved and cherished. It's scary because you go into a daze and you are constantly thinking of this person day and night where they were just someone you thought was cute. You are waiting for text responses, looking at your phone, wondering what they are doing, etc.

From personal experience I know I've fallen hard before and I love hard too. Been in this situation twice and they both ended up not the way I wanted them to. I actually sent a text telling the person in my last "CF" situation that playtime is over and I'm not a f**king groupie riding his woo hoo. The only advice that I can give is YES it's gonna be hard for the first couple of days when you are trying to eliminate that person out of your life but it will be for the best so you can find that love that you deserve, want, and need. So tell that person to KICK ROCKS...we are all too old to be playing games!!! IJS!!!

Catching feelings is a mutha just like Temptation (definitely will post on that one too!)

Until next time
SMOOCHIES

COUNTDOWN!!! Relaunch on 6/27/15

THE TIME IS ALMOST HERE!!! TELL YOUR FAMILY & FRIENDS!!!

SNEAK PREVIEW BEFORE JUNE!!! Why do people tell you to text them and then don't respond?

Hi Mikaluvs <3

Ok so the other day I was having a conversation with some of my friends and "texting" came up. So one of my girls was like what pissed her off was when she is talking to a guy and they're texting for a couple of days and then all of a sudden he takes forever to text back or they completely stop. My other friend was saying just people in general. She feels it's so rude.

Girl! I feel ya!!!

Honestly I like texting to a point. I feel like this...it's convenient for when I'm on the go but I would rather talk to you on the phone. Plus there is always some type of misunderstanding with texts. But I guess my biggest pet peeve is when you ask me to text you and it takes hours or even days for you to respond but I see your a** on FaceBook, Instagram, or Twitter updating your page.

Ya'll tell me how you feel about this subject?


Until next time!!!

SMOOCHIES!!!

I'M BACK STARTING IN JUNE!!!

Hi Mikaluvs <3,

Yes a sista has been slipping big time on the blog...

Starting in June 2015, I'm back being that opinionated beyotch that you all love!!!
I'm so excited and I hope you continue to ride with me on this journey...


See ya in June!!!